Hot Flashes ~ You sell your home heating system at a
yard sale.
Mood Swings ~ Your husband jokes that instead of buying
a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this
winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you
shoot him.
Memory Loss ~ You write post-it notes with your kids' names
on them.
Irritability ~ Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and
your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie fucking Nelson."
Sleeplessness ~ The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the
Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
Fatigue ~ You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican
dinner.
Mild Incontinence ~ You change your underwear after every
sneeze.
Sudden Weight Gain ~ You need Jaws Of Life to help you out
of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant.
Female Hormone Deficiency ~ You take a sudden interest in
"Wrestlemania."
Hormone Therapy ~ You're on so much estrogens that you take
your Brownie troop on a field trip to see the Chippendales.
Hot Flashes ~ You sell your home heating system at a
yard sale.
Mood Swings ~ Your husband jokes that instead of buying
a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this
winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you
shoot him.
Memory Loss ~ You write post-it notes with your kids' names
on them.
Irritability ~ Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." and
your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie fucking Nelson."
Sleeplessness ~ The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the
Heaven's Gate Cult gives you four hours of decent rest.
Fatigue ~ You find guacamole in your hair after a Mexican
dinner.
Mild Incontinence ~ You change your underwear after every
sneeze.
Sudden Weight Gain ~ You need Jaws Of Life to help you out
of your car after returning home from an Italian restaurant.
Female Hormone Deficiency ~ You take a sudden interest in
"Wrestlemania."
Hormone Therapy ~ You're on so much estrogens that you take
your Brownie troop on a field trip to see the Chippendales.