Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
really WANT puke on you?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
to "kiss it good morning".
==========================================
Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
easier than licking a dead fish
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful
I'm not pulling your hair.
5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
your teeth...because you won't have any.
6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we would
stick around afterward.
7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
11. Play with the balls
12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
============================================
LOL!
--
They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.
Dr.Biff®© ²°°³"TM
All rights reserved.
www.biffstoejam.com
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
really WANT puke on you?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
to "kiss it good morning".
==========================================
Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
easier than licking a dead fish
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful
I'm not pulling your hair.
5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
your teeth...because you won't have any.
6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we would
stick around afterward.
7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
11. Play with the balls
12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
============================================
The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't want to
suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and with his
attitude, probably will.
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>
> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>
> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>
> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>
> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>
> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> really WANT puke on you?
>
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I
don't
> feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
> have sex right now.
>
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
> my Midol.
>
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
> me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
> be repeated in the future.
>
> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
> the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
> we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>
> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
> protein content.
>
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> to either sympathize or brag.
>
> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> to "kiss it good morning".
> ==========================================
> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>
> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
> find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>
> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> easier than licking a dead fish
>
> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> anything to you?
>
> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
thankful
> I'm not pulling your hair.
>
> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
> your teeth...because you won't have any.
>
> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we
would
> stick around afterward.
>
> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>
> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
> need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>
> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
> the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>
> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>
> 11. Play with the balls
>
> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>
> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>
> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>
> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
> action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>
> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
> face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> ============================================
>
>
I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
mokosh wrote:
> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> with his attitude, probably will.
> )O(
>
> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>>
>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>>
>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>>
>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>>
>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>>
>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
>> really WANT puke on you?
>>
>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>>
>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
>> YOU can't have sex right now.
>>
>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
>> with my Midol.
>>
>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>>
>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
>> to be repeated in the future.
>>
>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>>
>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
>> the protein content.
>>
>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>>
>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
>> to either sympathize or brag.
>>
>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
>> to "kiss it good morning".
>> ==========================================
>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>>
>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>>
>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
>> easier than licking a dead fish
>>
>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
>> anything to you?
>>
>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
>>
>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
>> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
>> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
>>
>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
>> we would stick around afterward.
>>
>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>>
>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>>
>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>>
>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>>
>> 11. Play with the balls
>>
>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>>
>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>>
>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>>
>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>>
>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
>> ============================================
I know, I know...but doesn't it strike you as being extraordinarily
mean-spirited? That's the sort of stuff you say to people you hate...I don't
see humor in this exchange, just bitterness. :(
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>
> mokosh wrote:
> > The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> > want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> > with his attitude, probably will.
> > )O(
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>
> >> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>
> >> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>
> >> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>
> >> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>
> >> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> >> really WANT puke on you?
> >>
> >> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>
> >> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>
> >> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
> >> with my Midol.
> >>
> >> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>
> >> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >> to be repeated in the future.
> >>
> >> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>
> >> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >> the protein content.
> >>
> >> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>
> >> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> >> to either sympathize or brag.
> >>
> >> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >> to "kiss it good morning".
> >> ==========================================
> >> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>
> >> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>
> >> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>
> >> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >> anything to you?
> >>
> >> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>
> >> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> >> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
> >> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>
> >> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >> we would stick around afterward.
> >>
> >> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>
> >> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>
> >> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>
> >> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>
> >> 11. Play with the balls
> >>
> >> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>
> >> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>
> >> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>
> >> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>
> >> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >> ============================================
>
>
You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been really drunk
to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will talk about it.....
<
> tipster
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>
> mokosh wrote:
> > The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> > want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> > with his attitude, probably will.
> > )O(
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>
> >> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>
> >> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>
> >> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>
> >> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>
> >> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> >> really WANT puke on you?
> >>
> >> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>
> >> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>
> >> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
> >> with my Midol.
> >>
> >> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>
> >> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >> to be repeated in the future.
> >>
> >> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>
> >> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >> the protein content.
> >>
> >> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>
> >> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> >> to either sympathize or brag.
> >>
> >> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >> to "kiss it good morning".
> >> ==========================================
> >> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>
> >> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>
> >> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>
> >> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >> anything to you?
> >>
> >> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>
> >> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> >> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
> >> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>
> >> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >> we would stick around afterward.
> >>
> >> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>
> >> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>
> >> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>
> >> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>
> >> 11. Play with the balls
> >>
> >> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>
> >> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>
> >> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>
> >> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>
> >> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >> ============================================
>
>
Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to me,
that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
Tipster wrote:
> You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> talk about it..... <
>> tipster
>
> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
>> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>>
>> mokosh wrote:
>>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
>>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
>>> and with his attitude, probably will.
>>> )O(
>>>
>>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
>>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
>>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
>>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>>>>
>>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
>>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>>>>
>>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>>>>
>>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>>>>
>>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
>>>> you really WANT puke on you?
>>>>
>>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>>>>
>>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
>>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
>>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
>>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
>>>>
>>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
>>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
>>>> alone with my Midol.
>>>>
>>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
>>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>>>>
>>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
>>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
>>>> to be repeated in the future.
>>>>
>>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
>>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
>>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>>>>
>>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
>>>> the protein content.
>>>>
>>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>>>>
>>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
>>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
>>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
>>>>
>>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
>>>> to "kiss it good morning".
>>>> ==========================================
>>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>>>>
>>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
>>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
>>>> easier than licking a dead fish
>>>>
>>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
>>>> anything to you?
>>>>
>>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
>>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
>>>>
>>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
>>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
>>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
>>>>
>>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
>>>> we would stick around afterward.
>>>>
>>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
>>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>>>>
>>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
>>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>>>>
>>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
>>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>>>>
>>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>>>>
>>>> 11. Play with the balls
>>>>
>>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>>>>
>>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
>>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>>>>
>>>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>>>>
>>>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
>>>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
>>>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>>>>
>>>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
>>>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
>>>> ============================================
That's no sin, Mr. Haggis...
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:NloMa.24383$I7.36394@no-spam
> Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to
me,
> that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
> for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
> with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
>
> Tipster wrote:
> > You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> > really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> > talk about it..... <
> >> tipster
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> >> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
> >>
> >> mokosh wrote:
> >>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> >>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
> >>> and with his attitude, probably will.
> >>> )O(
> >>>
> >>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> >>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
> >>>> you really WANT puke on you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
> >>>> alone with my Midol.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >>>> to be repeated in the future.
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >>>> the protein content.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
> >>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >>>> to "kiss it good morning".
> >>>> ==========================================
> >>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>>>
> >>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >>>> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >>>> anything to you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
> >>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
> >>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >>>> we would stick around afterward.
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Play with the balls
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >>>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >>>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >>>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >>>> ============================================
>
>
Disclaimer, To Haggis: (my reply is in no way directed toward you, love, as
author of post. It is in reference to the subject matter about good ol'
blowjobs (love'em, don'chu?)
Women's Rules: There ain't no rules in Sib's book, that is, if you're
good an' ya' know what ya' doin'!
So, with that said, let's go to the list:
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
With #7....tha's a guarantee for bustin' up a "moment"! Put ya' drawers
on 'cuz I'm done, unless uncontrollable gigglin' turns ya' on.
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right
now.
With #8....doesn't apply
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls!
If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
With #9....you WILL get blue balls.....when I'm using edible
fingerpaints.
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.
With #10..you bust my chops with an attitude about a pubic hair and
you'll experience the reality of "wrecked it". Busted chops Bite!
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards
is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the
future.
With #11..'tis one other way to get blue balls once I jerk them cords,
make a noose, slide it on an' pull real tight...then tie you up with the
rest. Video games will be the last thing on your mind for a l---o---n---g
time, trust me! <sliding key in locked closet> Your choice of games will
forever be changed when I get done, an' every time you see those "game
cords", your heart will start to pound, you'll breath hard an' that little
tingle of fear will come crawlin' up your spine) *g*
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
With # 14..only exception is watching sensual videos together.
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get B. J.
often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize
or brag.
With #15..not only is it inappropriate to brag or feel sorry for 'em, I
don't want 'em pesterin' ME! (they're ~*your friends, remember?)
> With #16.....kiss mine first an' you'll get ~*more than a kiss!
MEN'S Etiquette about BJ's....not goin' there
Personal comment: Jus' so ya' know, the above comments are meant to be
humorous and silly!......................maybe! <eg>
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>
> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>
> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>
> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>
> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>
> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> really WANT puke on you?
>
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I
don't
> feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
> have sex right now.
>
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
> my Midol.
>
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
> me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
> be repeated in the future.
>
> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
> the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
> we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>
> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
> protein content.
>
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> to either sympathize or brag.
>
> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> to "kiss it good morning".
> ==========================================
> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>
> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
> find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>
> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> easier than licking a dead fish
>
> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> anything to you?
>
> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
thankful
> I'm not pulling your hair.
>
> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
> your teeth...because you won't have any.
>
> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we
would
> stick around afterward.
>
> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>
> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
> need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>
> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
> the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>
> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>
> 11. Play with the balls
>
> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>
> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>
> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>
> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
> action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>
> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
> face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> ============================================
>
>
Sorry...What did you just say? Hehehe.
>
> tipster
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:NloMa.24383$I7.36394@no-spam
> Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to
me,
> that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
> for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
> with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
>
> Tipster wrote:
> > You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> > really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> > talk about it..... <
> >> tipster
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> >> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
> >>
> >> mokosh wrote:
> >>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> >>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
> >>> and with his attitude, probably will.
> >>> )O(
> >>>
> >>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> >>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
> >>>> you really WANT puke on you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
> >>>> alone with my Midol.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >>>> to be repeated in the future.
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >>>> the protein content.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
> >>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >>>> to "kiss it good morning".
> >>>> ==========================================
> >>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>>>
> >>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >>>> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >>>> anything to you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
> >>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
> >>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >>>> we would stick around afterward.
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Play with the balls
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >>>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >>>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >>>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >>>> ============================================
>
>
That was wonderful Sib.... Thanks.
>
> tipster
"Sib" <e_sib@no-spam> wrote in message
news:RdpMa.802$Sy1.54@no-spam
> Disclaimer, To Haggis: (my reply is in no way directed toward you, love,
as
> author of post. It is in reference to the subject matter about good ol'
> blowjobs (love'em, don'chu?)
> Women's Rules: There ain't no rules in Sib's book, that is, if you're
> good an' ya' know what ya' doin'!
> So, with that said, let's go to the list:
> > 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> With #7....tha's a guarantee for bustin' up a "moment"! Put ya'
drawers
> on 'cuz I'm done, unless uncontrollable gigglin' turns ya' on.
> > 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
> through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
> particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right
> now.
> With #8....doesn't apply
> > 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls!
> If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
> With #9....you WILL get blue balls.....when I'm using edible
> fingerpaints.
> > 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me
> I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> With #10..you bust my chops with an attitude about a pubic hair and
> you'll experience the reality of "wrecked it". Busted chops Bite!
> > 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards
> is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the
> future.
> With #11..'tis one other way to get blue balls once I jerk them cords,
> make a noose, slide it on an' pull real tight...then tie you up with the
> rest. Video games will be the last thing on your mind for a l---o---n---g
> time, trust me! <sliding key in locked closet> Your choice of games will
> forever be changed when I get done, an' every time you see those "game
> cords", your heart will start to pound, you'll breath hard an' that little
> tingle of fear will come crawlin' up your spine) *g*
> > 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> With # 14..only exception is watching sensual videos together.
> > 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get B. J.
> often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either
sympathize
> or brag.
> With #15..not only is it inappropriate to brag or feel sorry for 'em, I
> don't want 'em pesterin' ME! (they're ~*your friends, remember?)
> > With #16.....kiss mine first an' you'll get ~*more than a kiss!
> MEN'S Etiquette about BJ's....not goin' there
> Personal comment: Jus' so ya' know, the above comments are meant to be
> humorous and silly!......................maybe! <eg>
>
> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
message
> news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> > Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> > 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >
> > 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >
> > 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> > standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >
> > 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >
> > 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >
> > 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> > really WANT puke on you?
> >
> > 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >
> > 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> > it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I
> don't
> > feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
> > have sex right now.
> >
> > 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> > girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
with
> > my Midol.
> >
> > 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
> > me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >
> > 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> > afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
> > be repeated in the future.
> >
> > 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
> > the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
> > we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >
> > 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
> > protein content.
> >
> > 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >
> > 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> > B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> > to either sympathize or brag.
> >
> > 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> > to "kiss it good morning".
> > ==========================================
> > Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >
> > 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
> > find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >
> > 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> > easier than licking a dead fish
> >
> > 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> > anything to you?
> >
> > 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> thankful
> > I'm not pulling your hair.
> >
> > 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> > you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
> > your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >
> > 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we
> would
> > stick around afterward.
> >
> > 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> > the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >
> > 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
> > need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >
> > 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
> > the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >
> > 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >
> > 11. Play with the balls
> >
> > 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >
> > 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> > our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >
> > 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >
> > 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> > now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
> > action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >
> > 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on
your
> > face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> > ============================================
> >
> >
>
>
>
Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
really WANT puke on you?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
to "kiss it good morning".
==========================================
Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
easier than licking a dead fish
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful
I'm not pulling your hair.
5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
your teeth...because you won't have any.
6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we would
stick around afterward.
7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
11. Play with the balls
12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
============================================
LOL!
--
They X-Rayed my head and found nothing.
Dr.Biff®© ²°°³"TM
All rights reserved.
www.biffstoejam.com
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
standard practice to cum on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are NOT handles.
6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
really WANT puke on you?
7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't
feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
be repeated in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
to either sympathize or brag.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
to "kiss it good morning".
==========================================
Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
easier than licking a dead fish
3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
anything to you?
4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be thankful
I'm not pulling your hair.
5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
your teeth...because you won't have any.
6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we would
stick around afterward.
7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
11. Play with the balls
12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
============================================
The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't want to
suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and with his
attitude, probably will.
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>
> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>
> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>
> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>
> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>
> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> really WANT puke on you?
>
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I
don't
> feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
> have sex right now.
>
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
> my Midol.
>
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
> me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
> be repeated in the future.
>
> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
> the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
> we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>
> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
> protein content.
>
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> to either sympathize or brag.
>
> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> to "kiss it good morning".
> ==========================================
> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>
> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
> find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>
> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> easier than licking a dead fish
>
> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> anything to you?
>
> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
thankful
> I'm not pulling your hair.
>
> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
> your teeth...because you won't have any.
>
> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we
would
> stick around afterward.
>
> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>
> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
> need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>
> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
> the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>
> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>
> 11. Play with the balls
>
> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>
> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>
> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>
> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
> action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>
> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
> face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> ============================================
>
>
I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
mokosh wrote:
> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> with his attitude, probably will.
> )O(
>
> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>>
>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>>
>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>>
>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>>
>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>>
>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
>> really WANT puke on you?
>>
>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>>
>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
>> YOU can't have sex right now.
>>
>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
>> with my Midol.
>>
>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>>
>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
>> to be repeated in the future.
>>
>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>>
>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
>> the protein content.
>>
>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>>
>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
>> to either sympathize or brag.
>>
>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
>> to "kiss it good morning".
>> ==========================================
>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>>
>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>>
>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
>> easier than licking a dead fish
>>
>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
>> anything to you?
>>
>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
>>
>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
>> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
>> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
>>
>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
>> we would stick around afterward.
>>
>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>>
>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>>
>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>>
>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>>
>> 11. Play with the balls
>>
>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>>
>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>>
>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>>
>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>>
>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
>> ============================================
I know, I know...but doesn't it strike you as being extraordinarily
mean-spirited? That's the sort of stuff you say to people you hate...I don't
see humor in this exchange, just bitterness. :(
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>
> mokosh wrote:
> > The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> > want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> > with his attitude, probably will.
> > )O(
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>
> >> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>
> >> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>
> >> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>
> >> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>
> >> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> >> really WANT puke on you?
> >>
> >> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>
> >> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>
> >> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
> >> with my Midol.
> >>
> >> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>
> >> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >> to be repeated in the future.
> >>
> >> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>
> >> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >> the protein content.
> >>
> >> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>
> >> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> >> to either sympathize or brag.
> >>
> >> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >> to "kiss it good morning".
> >> ==========================================
> >> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>
> >> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>
> >> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>
> >> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >> anything to you?
> >>
> >> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>
> >> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> >> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
> >> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>
> >> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >> we would stick around afterward.
> >>
> >> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>
> >> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>
> >> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>
> >> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>
> >> 11. Play with the balls
> >>
> >> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>
> >> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>
> >> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>
> >> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>
> >> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >> ============================================
>
>
You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been really drunk
to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will talk about it.....
<
> tipster
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>
> mokosh wrote:
> > The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> > want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely, and
> > with his attitude, probably will.
> > )O(
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>
> >> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>
> >> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>
> >> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>
> >> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>
> >> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> >> really WANT puke on you?
> >>
> >> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>
> >> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>
> >> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone
> >> with my Midol.
> >>
> >> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>
> >> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >> to be repeated in the future.
> >>
> >> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>
> >> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >> the protein content.
> >>
> >> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>
> >> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> >> to either sympathize or brag.
> >>
> >> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >> to "kiss it good morning".
> >> ==========================================
> >> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>
> >> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>
> >> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>
> >> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >> anything to you?
> >>
> >> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>
> >> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> >> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck
> >> in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>
> >> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >> we would stick around afterward.
> >>
> >> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>
> >> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>
> >> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>
> >> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>
> >> 11. Play with the balls
> >>
> >> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>
> >> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>
> >> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>
> >> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>
> >> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >> ============================================
>
>
Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to me,
that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
Tipster wrote:
> You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> talk about it..... <
>> tipster
>
> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
>> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
>>
>> mokosh wrote:
>>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
>>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
>>> and with his attitude, probably will.
>>> )O(
>>>
>>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
>>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
>>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
>>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>>>>
>>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
>>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>>>>
>>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>>>>
>>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>>>>
>>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
>>>> you really WANT puke on you?
>>>>
>>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>>>>
>>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
>>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
>>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
>>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
>>>>
>>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
>>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
>>>> alone with my Midol.
>>>>
>>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
>>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>>>>
>>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
>>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
>>>> to be repeated in the future.
>>>>
>>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
>>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
>>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>>>>
>>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
>>>> the protein content.
>>>>
>>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>>>>
>>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
>>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
>>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
>>>>
>>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
>>>> to "kiss it good morning".
>>>> ==========================================
>>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>>>>
>>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
>>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>>>>
>>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
>>>> easier than licking a dead fish
>>>>
>>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
>>>> anything to you?
>>>>
>>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
>>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
>>>>
>>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
>>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
>>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
>>>>
>>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
>>>> we would stick around afterward.
>>>>
>>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
>>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>>>>
>>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
>>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>>>>
>>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
>>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>>>>
>>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>>>>
>>>> 11. Play with the balls
>>>>
>>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>>>>
>>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
>>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>>>>
>>>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>>>>
>>>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
>>>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
>>>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>>>>
>>>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
>>>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
>>>> ============================================
That's no sin, Mr. Haggis...
)O(
--
"Are we allowed to eat these men?"
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:NloMa.24383$I7.36394@no-spam
> Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to
me,
> that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
> for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
> with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
>
> Tipster wrote:
> > You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> > really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> > talk about it..... <
> >> tipster
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> >> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
> >>
> >> mokosh wrote:
> >>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> >>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
> >>> and with his attitude, probably will.
> >>> )O(
> >>>
> >>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> >>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
> >>>> you really WANT puke on you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
> >>>> alone with my Midol.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >>>> to be repeated in the future.
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >>>> the protein content.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
> >>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >>>> to "kiss it good morning".
> >>>> ==========================================
> >>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>>>
> >>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >>>> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >>>> anything to you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
> >>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
> >>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >>>> we would stick around afterward.
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Play with the balls
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> >>>> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for
> >>>> some action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any
> >>>> on your face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> >>>> ============================================
>
>
Disclaimer, To Haggis: (my reply is in no way directed toward you, love, as
author of post. It is in reference to the subject matter about good ol'
blowjobs (love'em, don'chu?)
Women's Rules: There ain't no rules in Sib's book, that is, if you're
good an' ya' know what ya' doin'!
So, with that said, let's go to the list:
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
With #7....tha's a guarantee for bustin' up a "moment"! Put ya' drawers
on 'cuz I'm done, unless uncontrollable gigglin' turns ya' on.
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it
through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel
particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right
now.
With #8....doesn't apply
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls!
If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
With #9....you WILL get blue balls.....when I'm using edible
fingerpaints.
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me
I've just "wrecked it" for you.
With #10..you bust my chops with an attitude about a pubic hair and
you'll experience the reality of "wrecked it". Busted chops Bite!
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards
is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the
future.
With #11..'tis one other way to get blue balls once I jerk them cords,
make a noose, slide it on an' pull real tight...then tie you up with the
rest. Video games will be the last thing on your mind for a l---o---n---g
time, trust me! <sliding key in locked closet> Your choice of games will
forever be changed when I get done, an' every time you see those "game
cords", your heart will start to pound, you'll breath hard an' that little
tingle of fear will come crawlin' up your spine) *g*
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
With # 14..only exception is watching sensual videos together.
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get B. J.
often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize
or brag.
With #15..not only is it inappropriate to brag or feel sorry for 'em, I
don't want 'em pesterin' ME! (they're ~*your friends, remember?)
> With #16.....kiss mine first an' you'll get ~*more than a kiss!
MEN'S Etiquette about BJ's....not goin' there
Personal comment: Jus' so ya' know, the above comments are meant to be
humorous and silly!......................maybe! <eg>
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
>
> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
>
> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
>
> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
>
> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
>
> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do you
> really WANT puke on you?
>
> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
>
> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I
don't
> feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't
> have sex right now.
>
> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with
> my Midol.
>
> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell
> me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
>
> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to
> be repeated in the future.
>
> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about
> the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that
> we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
>
> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the
> protein content.
>
> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
>
> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate
> to either sympathize or brag.
>
> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> to "kiss it good morning".
> ==========================================
> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
>
> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we will
> find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
>
> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> easier than licking a dead fish
>
> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> anything to you?
>
> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
thankful
> I'm not pulling your hair.
>
> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends again,
> you won't have to worry about getting those little hairs stuck in
> your teeth...because you won't have any.
>
> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath we
would
> stick around afterward.
>
> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
>
> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you
> need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
>
> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get
> the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
>
> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
>
> 11. Play with the balls
>
> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
>
> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
>
> 14. Caress the ass, too, we like that.
>
> 15. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning
> now, but when you get old & fat (and you will) and looking for some
> action, gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".
>
> 16. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your
> face, now will you? Leave the thinking to us, okay?
> ============================================
>
>
Sorry...What did you just say? Hehehe.
>
> tipster
"Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in message
news:NloMa.24383$I7.36394@no-spam
> Shit! Tipster, you must have the shortest memory known to man, (next to
me,
> that is) I told you before I quit drinking in 1973, and you should try it,
> for life is better without booze...now I only have one sin to contend
> with...sex, s-e-x, and even more S-E-X...lol
>
> Tipster wrote:
> > You had it coming brother... I love you, but you must have been
> > really drunk to post that.... Come over, have a drink, and we will
> > talk about it..... <
> >> tipster
> >
> > "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> > message news:zRlMa.24163$I7.36254@no-spam
> >> I didn't write it, Ms. Mokosh, I just snarfed it from another NG.
> >>
> >> mokosh wrote:
> >>> The male response is the height of cruelty. No wonder she doesn't
> >>> want to suck his dick. Whoever wrote that deserves to die lonely,
> >>> and with his attitude, probably will.
> >>> )O(
> >>>
> >>> "Haggis MacBagpipes" <haggis01@no-spam> wrote in
> >>> message news:MkjMa.23944$I7.36037@no-spam
> >>>> Woman B. J. Etiquette Rules
> >>>> 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not
> >>>> standard practice to cum on someone's face.
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. My ears are NOT handles.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Do
> >>>> you really WANT puke on you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get; it is NEVER OK to fart.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get
> >>>> it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no,
> >>>> I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because
> >>>> YOU can't have sex right now.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school
> >>>> girls! If you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me
> >>>> alone with my Midol.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't
> >>>> tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately
> >>>> afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior
> >>>> to be repeated in the future.
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate
> >>>> about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be
> >>>> happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about
> >>>> the protein content.
> >>>>
> >>>> 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
> >>>>
> >>>> 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get
> >>>> B. J. often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is
> >>>> inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.
> >>>>
> >>>> 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have
> >>>> to "kiss it good morning".
> >>>> ==========================================
> >>>> Man's reply to Woman's B. J. Etiquette
> >>>>
> >>>> 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. if you don't, we
> >>>> will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.
> >>>>
> >>>> 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot
> >>>> easier than licking a dead fish
> >>>>
> >>>> 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean
> >>>> anything to you?
> >>>>
> >>>> 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it & be
> >>>> thankful I'm not pulling your hair.
> >>>>
> >>>> 5. If you ever tell me what to say & not to say to my friends
> >>>> again, you won't have to worry about getting those little
> >>>> hairs stuck in your teeth...because you won't have any.
> >>>>
> >>>> 6. Maybe if you brushed your teeth & got the smell off your breath
> >>>> we would stick around afterward.
> >>>>
> >>>> 7. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is
> >>>> the only way to stop you from bitching & moaning.
> >>>>
> >>>> 8. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days,
> >>>> you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.
> >>>>
> >>>> 9. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we
> >>>> get the sh*t end of the stick in flavor country.
> >>>>
> >>>> 10. At least there is no danger of bleeding in your mouth
> >>>>
> >>>> 11. Play with the balls
> >>>>
> >>>> 12. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.
> >>>>
> >>>> 13. B. Js are the only reason we spend time with you instead of
> >>>> our friends, take that away and you are, literally, useless.
> >>>>
> >>>&g