Spring-Ford Reporter
Mothers and More fills a void for stay-at-home moms
By: Melissa S. Mattison , Staff Writer 07/03/2003
Mothers who spend their time at home, caring for children and the household
are often under-appreciated, forgotten and under-valued in today's society.
Many other stay-at-home moms are stressed, feel lonely or are searching for
work or projects to do at home.
However, mothers need not feel this way for long. Mothers and More, a
national organization which has bases in both Chester and Montgomery
counties, is here to help.
"It provides a place where women, who used to be professional, can go," said
Chester County Mothers and More member and Web Coordinator Jennifer
Mossholder. "There is a loss there with staying at home - a void. This is a
great group that helps so you don't feel guilty or bad about staying home."
Mossholder, a Limerick resident, was not alone in her thoughts.
"I am new to the group," said Tiffany Capulano of the Montgomery County
Mothers and More. "But I already greatly value the friends I have made here,
and it is great to learn more from other mothers."
Capulano said the group can do a lot more than provide a place to meet other
moms.
"We try to plan activities for the kids, for moms," she said. "We talk about
nutrition and siblings and health, so many different things."
Capulano, who was a journalism major in college, worked for seven years as a
media relations expert before staying home. Now the mother of a 3- and
1-year-old, the expecting stay-at-homer manages the publicity as a
coordinator with Mothers and More in Montgomery County.
"Many women today are altering their career paths, either by circumstance or
by choice, to spend more time with their family," she said.
Mossholder said the change was something she wanted to do.
"I started to stay at home six months after Hayley was born," said
Mossholder. Hayley, a 2-1/2-year old, is the big sister to 14-month old
triplets. All four girls keep Mossholder busy. She said she enjoys the
group's once-a-month meetings. The Chester County chapter meets at the YMCA
Berwin in Wayne.
"It is great, not only for the meetings, but we have moms' nights out, play
groups, holiday parties, outings, a whole lot of stuff," she said. "We also
have speakers who talk about everything from siblings, to marriage
communication, to estate planning and organized health talks."
Mossholder said it is also a good way to meet people.
"I've been here (in Limerick) for three years," she said. "And it is hard to
meet new people. Let's face it, with triplets and a 2-year-old, we don't get
out too much."
But Mossholder said even when she can't be at meetings, the group keeps in
contact as she designs the Web site.
"We all call each other," said Mossholder. "We also have a book club. I like
to read and it is good to have people to talk about that with."
Having been on bed rest for the majority of her pregnancy with Robin, Darcy
and Kady - her triplets - Mossholder said she had to have help come to take
care of her usual day-to-day activities.
"When I was pregnant with the triplets, we had to have my mother-in-law from
Cleveland come live with us to take care of my older child," she said.
Mossholder said she soon realized how much work she did everyday. She and
other mothers involved in the organization attempted to make clear the hard
work stay-at-home mothers put in every day by holding a legislative forum in
April.
"We are (providing unpaid caregiving) needs that should be seen as
worthwhile and valuable," said Mossholder. Women spend an average of 11.5
years of their lives out of the workforce, caring for children or elderly
parents. For each year out of the workforce, a mother receives zero credit
toward social security benefits. This is a factor the group would like to
see changed.
"Women who find a balance between work and family encounter many obstacles
to maintaining economic security and caregiving responsibilities," said
Capulano. "At the tops of most women's minds at the forum were workplace
issues, such as company family leave policies, job sharing and flexible work
schedules."
The organization hoped that the forum made more representatives aware of the
issues they face, though Mossholder said only women representatives and
persons from women's offices in the state congress showed up to the event.
However, the women were not discouraged, and continue to value the service
their organization provides for stay-at-home mothers.
Martha Bullen, a stay-at-home mother of an 11-year-old son and 14-year-old
daughter, has been a member of the organization for 14 of the 15 years it
has been in operation.
"It has made an enormous difference in my life," said Bullen of the Mothers
and More group. "I am one of the longest members out there. I joined this
group when it began in Chicago (in 1989) and was an editor for the national
newsletter for a while."
Bullen said even when she moved to northern California and then to Chester
County, where she currently resides, "each time there was a Mothers and More
five minutes away.
"It is a great, active group where women can focus on themselves as people,"
she said. "I've made the greatest friends over the years."
Bullen, the co-author with Darcie Sanders of the book "Staying Home," said
that the group provides a program that tries to "fit everyone's needs."
"It is a place where you can meet other, like-minded women," she said.
Co-leader of the Chester County Mothers and More Caroline Patterson, of
Collegeville, agreed.
"It definitely provides a support network of other moms," she said.
Patterson, whose daughter Julia is 19-months old, said she wanted to be home
with her children, but found it hard to meet other women.
"I didn't know other women, I couldn't find a way to connect with them, and
this group is great. It really is a place to work out problems or just
talk."
To find more out about the local chapters of the Mothers and More
organization, visit the Chester County Web site at www.156mothers.org or the
national Web site at www.MothersandMore.org. The Chester County group meets
the first Wednesday of each month at the Upper Mainline YMCA in Berwyn. The
Montgomery County group meets at the Meadowood Retirement Community, near
routes 363 and 73.
©Montgomery Newspapers 2003